Russell Crowe is Noah who has a dream or a vision or something (I wasn't really paying attention) that the world is going to be engulfed by a great flood to cleanse it of evil, his job is to build a big boat to put all the animals on to save them, don't worry though Noah, the Lions will leave the antelopes alone!
To help him he enlists some creatures that look like giant Twiglets and were to silly looking for Lord Of The Rings, Ray Winstone turns up (you almost expect him to give us betting tips "6/4 you'll turn this crap off after 60 minutes!!!") so does Anthony Hopkins (cos this is a serious movie). The flood comes, everyone on the ark is pissed off, it turns into a 1 hour "Eastenders-The Thames Floods!" special of abject misery and melodrama, apparently it's adapted from a book, I hope that's a lot better than this wet weekend in Weston of a movie.
*****
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