Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Following on from the events of the classic original, the Family are all killed in a shootout and the house torched by vigilantes, a lone infant ('Heather') is "rescued" by the Sheriff...then the movie throws a curve ball...well not really.

Fast forward to the 'present' and we're smack bang on the cliche train, a group of twenty somethings, all horny out to "PAARTAY!" , token black guy, slutty girl etc, head out with Heather to see her new found inheritance..can you see where this is going??

Less than half way through this mess and it's a world of horror cliche's and stereotypes we've seen countless times from talentless auteur's, every-things filmed in the dark, someone looks in a cabinet for no apparent reason, swings a mirror door back "ARGHH! WHAT'S THAT!!?"  /loud blast of music, then Leatherface runs after the dumb ass's for a bit.

The plot, I use that term loosely, is like the characters, pretty dumb, the character Heather (Alexandra Daddario) is mid twenties but shouldn't she be a forty something!,  how does she find out about the past events? (in the mid 70's!) Google? No, she casually leafs through the crime files in a Police station as if she's in the local Library!

There's very little here to lift spirits, a few gory slayings, the final third of the movie does improve very slightly, and there's always lead girl Daddario's gravity defying cleavage to admire, but that's it.

Please put an end to these piss poor franchise.

*****