How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (2008)

I have to admit the only reason I watched this was the fact that the excellent Simon Pegg starred and he doesn't disappoint.The guy oozes charm and charisma and he is well supported by Kirsten Dunst, Jeff Bridges and the filth pot that can't act for toffee, Megan Fox. Yes it's all pretty predictable, but still an enjoyable no-brainer.

*****

Eden Lake (2008)

A couple go on a weekend away camping at a remote lake, the boyfriend Steve plans to propose but a group of 'chavs' turn the trip into a nightmare. This is an excellent 21st Century horror movie, very brutal and honest, you want Hollywood happy ending? "FUCK YOU" says this movie, think "Last House On The Left" and just as uncompromising.
Highly recommmended.

*****

You Don't Mess With The Zohan (2008)

You either love Adam Dandler or you hate him, this seems to be the rule and I'm firmly in the former, give the guy his due he's appeared in some top comedy flicks over the past decade or so (50 First Dates, Click, Happy Gilmore and the classic Wedding Singer).

"You Don't Mess With The Zohan" is your typical Sandler project, totally silly, one gag misses the mark, the next is bang on, political correctness? no thanks, yeah there's some preachy "why can't we all get along" sentiment, but for most of the time it's a case of take the piss out of anybody and anyone, and it works.

Stupid, silly, a total no-brainer, who cares, what we have here is a movie about the Arab/Israel conflict involving a Mossad Agent who just wants to be a Hair Dresser and get jiggy with the 'mature' customers!

*****

[Rec] (2007)

A television crew are filming a documentary about a fire fighting crew in Barcelona, the crew are called to an emergency, soon though the authorities "lock down" the entire building when it becomes apparent that there is a killer virus rife. Shot documentary style this Spanish horror show is a roller coaster ride of the highest pedigree.Think the claustaphobic atmosphere of "Blair Witch" combined with the visceral terror of "The Grudge" and you pretty much have this horror bad boy nailed.

One of the best horror flicks in recent years and well worth a look on dvd, the film has been remade in the States as "Quarantine" and early reviews are positive with the remake losing very little of [Rec]'s sense of dread.

*****

Tropic Thunder (2008)

When you get a comedy directed and starring Ben Stiller with a supporting cast of Robert Downey Jnr, Jack Black, Steve Coogan, Nick Nolte and Tom Cruise you really can't go wrong and Tropic Thunder is well worth a watch.The characters are OTT to the extreme, Downey Jnr and Tom Cruise in paticular are a laugh riot ever time they are on screen.

The film pokes fun at all those Vietnam movies we've sat through, and also the protentiousness of Hollywood's A-list actors.

Great fun.

*****

Iron Man (2008)

What can you say?
One of the best action hero movies ever, one equally as good as the classic first "Spiderman" movie and "Batman Begins".Robert Downey Jnr is perfectly cast as our "hero", the special effects are sensational, great action scenes, loads of humour (the final payoff line is the icing on the cake) and the film has a sense of warmth from it's characters, especially Downeys Jnrs assistant Pepper Potts played by the charismatic Gwyneth Paltrow.

Roll on Iron Man 2...............

*****

I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I'm finally back, had a bit of a shit year but I'm back on track.
I'll start the normal reviews asap but first of all I'll post some mini-reviews, a kind of catch up session.

30 Days Of Night (2007)

A snow bound town in the northern most point of Alaska, for 30 days the inhabitants endure 30 straight days of darkness.Strange things start to happen, phone lines and internet access go down, sledge dogs have their throats cut, some one, or something, is trying to cut off the towns folk from civilisation.

The best way to describe this movie as a bloody combination of "Near Dark", "Blade", "From Dusk Till Dawn" with the claustrophobia of "The Thing" thrown in.The film has some great visuals, I loved the scene when the camera flys above the ground as the Vampires butcher the residents, blood spraying over the white snow.The Vampires look great too, a suited up, cunning, vicious with pure evil pumping through their veins.

The only minus point I can think of is that the plot is pretty thin, but who cares when you have a fine scary and gory horror flick that looks so so good.

*****

Wrong Turn 2:Dead End (2007)

Well I have to admit 2003's "Wrong Turn" was a pretty unmemorable horror flick so it must be said I wasn't really expecting much from the direct to dvd sequel.How wrong was I!!!

Right the negatives first, the film doesn't have an ounce of originality it it's blood soaked running time, the characters are clichés straight out of the book, jock, token Black guy, sexy but tough blonde, Hispanic bad-ass female and a sexy air head bimbo (yes, she gets them out, see pic below!)The film film shamelessly apes the classic "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Hills Have Eyes" films, so much so there's even a scene involving the mutant family at the dinner table with our tough heroine being force fed unpleasantries!!!

Now the good news.The film is an absolute gore-fest, a blonde meets a bloody end in the first five minutes, body's are hacked apart, blown up and arrows fly through heads and eye sockets!Henry Rollins stars as an ex-Marine, all muscles, tattoos and grimacing.The plot is pretty much non existinct, a group of contestants compete in a reality TV show, but are hunted down by a bunch of mutants in the woods, but who cares?!
Highly entertaining stuff, loads of bloody deaths, perfect switch your brain off and wait for the next air head to get splattered!!!

*****

Shrek The Third (2007)

"Shrek The Third" had a lot to live up too, the first two in the series were top class comedies which both children and adults could both enjoy with great characters and a fun, if slightly thin, story's.So how does the third instalment measure up?

Well the fact that it's called Shrek The Third really is an apt title as this really is mediocre and very very disappointing.The first quarter of an hour are at time's quite painful as you wait for some semblance of a story to develop, worse still the gags are few and far between, a few fart and vomit gags you get, but where's the biting humour and sense of warmth you felt for the characters in the first two outings?

The musical score must be mentioned too as it really is quite poor, something that was so good in it's predecessors handled so well, I mean "Live And Let Die" and Hearts "Barrracuda" plus no end of dreary ballads I've never heard before.

So, easily the poorest in the series, the studio really are scraping the barrel for the bucks, a fourth film will be released in 2010, we can only hope for a return to some kind of form, though as the subject matter is sure to be the birth of their first child I really don't have high expectations.

*****

Dead Mans Cards (2006)

Tom is a former highly rated Boxer who's career comes to an end after an eye injury, now he's broke and his marriage is on the rocks.A chance meeting in a gym leads to a job as a doorman at a seedy 'nightclub', soon though ejecting drunks and breaking up fights is the least of his problems......

"Dead Man's Cards" is pretty much your routine Brit gangster flick, the men are all meat-heads, the women tarts or bar staff! That's not to say this is a bad film, Paul Barber (Denzil from "Only Fools...") is always watchable, as is James McMartin.The film is neither over written or over acted, though a special mention to the hilarious Tom Bell as the club owner 'Billy The Kid', he sounds like he just necked a bottle of JD, his sentences constantly merging into one burbled wall of noise, a bit like an Irish (I think) Rab C Nesbitt!!

Not a film you'll remember a week or too later but a good effort never the less.

*****

Transformers (2007)

Now I have to admit, I've never watched a Transformers cartoon in my life, I was in my mid to late teens when they were a hit back in the 80's, only three things were on my mind, Metal, Football and getting laid!!

So it must be said that when it was announced that there would be a life action movie of the show I really wasn't that excited or interested, that was until I saw the first trailer which blew me away. It has to be said I don't think you'll have seen special effects that could top these, the robots look astonishing and are, as you would hope and expect, the stars of the show.Who cares about lousy dialogue and slightly ropey acting, all I wanted to see was robots kicking ass and smashing things up and boy do you get it!! The film has quite a long running time of nearly 150 minutes but it zips along at a good pace, you never have to wait to long for an action set piece and there's always the eye candy of Megan Fox to fill in the gaps. (see above )

Easily the "Summer movie" of the year, daft, action packed, with a good dose of humour, looking forward to part 2 already.....

*****

Reign Over Me (2007)

During a chance encounter Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle) meets up with an old buddy from college Charlie Fineman (Adam Sadler).Charlie lost his entire family in the 911 terrorist attacks and his life has collapsed around him, Alan takes it upon himself to try and help his friend through the mental torture that he is suffering.

Both Sadler and the always excellent Cheadle (we'll ignore his awful cockney character in the "Oceans" series) do a fine job, as does the supporting cast of Saffron Burrows and the usually annoying Liv Tyler.The film is a tough ride at times but it's well worth sticking with throughout as Alan is tortured at seeing how Charlies life and mental state fall apart.

A warm, affectionate and very well acted study in friendship.

*****

The Condemned (2007)

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin stars as Joe Conrad, a prisoner on death row in a corrupt Central American prison, who is "released" to star, unwillingly, in a reality TV show to be broadcast on the internet, a dozen convicts to fight to the death on an island, the winner is granted his freedom.

Basically this is just a remake of the Japanese classic "Battle Royale" but with convicts instead of kids.This really is beat your chest and leave your brain in neutral, morally reprehensible, very violent, but still great fun for all you action fans.Vinnie Jones is fun as the snarling, very unpleasant 'Ewan McStarley', Austin is fine in a role that really doesn't require much acting skill other than fighting, firing guns and grimacing.

If you're a fan of 80's style action flicks such as the hilarious "Commando" this will be right up you street.

*****

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

Right lets get the plot out the way first, guy saves pregnant woman, delivers baby, protects baby form bad guys out to kill it, and him.

That's it, let's not beat about the bush this film is ridiculous, preposterous, downright stupid, with some of the cheesiest dialogue you could imagine....and I loved every bullet riddled head cracking minute.

Clive Owen is a blast as the carrot (yes carrot) chomping trench coated bad ass, with a BAD, yes BAD attitude.Paul is a revelation as one real, real evil and sadistic bad guy, we get a bit of glamour with the addition of Monica Belluci but sadly she seems a bit wasted amongst the carnage present, a shower scene might have been a nice rest bite bullets flying.

This film has it all for the Saturday night pop corn no-brainer out there, shoot out, LOTS of shoot outs, car chases, bad gags and puns that would make a Roger Moore Bond blush, a head banging soundtrack, an Italian babe.....great fun, like watching last years "Crank" on Angel Dust!

*****